This is a Hard Week

So it's finals this week. Which means things are not good emotionally or mentally. I am preparing and studying right now for my political science exam tomorrow. I should've started studying a lot earlier today, but I was just not feeling it. First I felt physically sick, and then my head was so heavy. I stayed curled up in my bed until 2 this afternoon. Since then I've watched YouTube and tried to study. After this post goes up, I'll be back to actually studying. Wish me luck!

Most college students will tell you how hard finals week is. It's mentally and physically draining, leaving you feeling stressed and sick, just wishing for it to all be over so you can go home and curl up with your family. I know that when I get home Friday or Saturday, the first thing I'm doing is curling up on the couch with my mom and watching Netflix until I fall asleep. Then I'll sleep until Christmas.

My Christmas break is about a month, though it's shorter this year than last. I go home this weekend (I haven't started packing yet) and I'll be there until the Sunday after Christmas day. Jon and I are still trying to figure out what we're doing for the holiday, but he only has three days home so it's hard to decide what we're going to do. On that Sunday, I'll be driving out to San Marcos to spend a week with him. I'm mostly going because my mom will be visiting her family and I don't want to stay at the house. After New Year's I'll come back and spend the rest of my time with friends. Then I'm coming back to school as soon as the dorms open so that I can work a couple days before school starts.

Though finals can be a really tough time, it's important to stay confident and stay calm. Find the people and things that make you happy and focus on them when you get upset or stressed. For me, I have YouTube, Jon, and my friends... and my mom of course. I also try to focus on writing and reading because they always have a way of making me feel better, taking me to a whole other world where I don't have to worry about exams and packing and dealing with people in general.

Good luck to everyone else going through exams right now, or that recently went through them. Believe in yo fresh self.

Kaylee

YouTube and Me

I've always liked YouTube, using it to find tutorials, watch movie trailers, and whatever video had gone viral recently. It was last year, during my freshman year of college that I was inducted into the real world of YouTube, into Let’s Players, vloggers, and lots of sketches. Chey (my roommate of two years) and her boyfriend introduced me to games. I don’t consider myself a “gamer,” but I do like to play, and I definitely like to watch cute, funny idiots play videogames.

The first person they showed me was Markiplier (https://www.youtube.com/user/markiplierGAME), when he was playing the first Five Nights at Freddy’s. I did not like him at first. I found his voice annoying and I thought that he was rather childish. That same week, I went to visit Jon and I showed him the videos because I thought they were his style (they were). By the end of that month, Chey, Alex, and I had a nightly ritual of watching Mark’s videos. My love for him had begun to grow.

Besides Markiplier, I found some other gamers and sketch artists I really liked.

Jacksepticeye (https://www.youtube.com/user/jacksepticeye)

Cryaotic (https://www.youtube.com/user/ChaoticMonki)

Matthias (https://www.youtube.com/user/Matthiasiam)

JacksFilms (https://www.youtube.com/user/jacksfilms)

YouTube is the getaway for a shitty drug. No matter who I watch, be it Mark or either of the Jacks, I smile and laugh. My introduction into YouTube really couldn’t have come at a better time. When you struggle with things like depression and anxiety, it’s important to find things that calm you down and make you happy. These boys are saving my life, and many others’, just by being themselves and doing what they love. As a sophomore in college, it’s nice to have an escape from things like homework, professors, roommates, and work. It’s important to find things and people you can depend on, and hold onto through the hard times.

I’m an actress, I can memorize a script and walk onto a stage, and I’m golden. But write out a few topic points and talk to a camera? I freeze up. I made a YouTube channel (where I posted videos) back in the ninth grade. It sucked ass. On the bright side, it taught me I couldn’t do vlogs until I was more comfortable in front of a camera. And although I’m not comfortable enough to just blab about myself and my life aloud, I am very relaxed talking about books, people, movies, and my blog. Easy things to script, right?

Beginning after Christmas, I will attempt to record and queue up some videos and vlogs on my YouTube channel. I’m not doing this recognition or views, this is for me. This is about experience, gaining confidence, and networking. When I get my first video up, I will post the link on the blog, my Twitter, and Google+.

Thank you for the support and patience; let’s hope this will be a productive and enriching holiday season.

Stay fresh!

Kaylee 

I'm dealing with a lot of shit right now. I'm stressed beyond belief, my anxiety is on high, and I'm recovering from a cold. I was hoping to introduce a new layout and plan for blog posts, last week, but time has slipped away from me. This weekend was rough cause I was working doubles and closing, and last week I was getting a cold. I'm trying my hardest to start writing posts earlier and then putting them in a queue, but I have to find the time to write in bulk first. 

This weekend is my anniversary so I'll have a little downtime in order for me to relax, play some games, write, and read. I'll also get to see my love, so I should be in much higher spirits. It'll be three years on Sunday. 

Hopefully I'll be able to post a blog on Monday. But no promises. 

Have a great week. 

I haven't had time to write the two posts I had planned for this week. I will be writing and posting them tomorrow, some time in the afternoon. 

Update 36802 of 36802

The random title is because that's what my laptop is glaring at me right at this moment. 

Unfortunately, this small ass post is today's blog post. Due to stress and life and all those wonderful things, I'll be cutting back my posts to every other Monday. I have to do this, even if I don't want to. My life is beyond hectic right now and my combined anxiety and depression is at an all time high (in the bad way). 

I'm sorry to do this, for those of you who have stuck this crap out with me, but I really can't see another option. But, on the bright side, because I'm cutting back on posts, I'll probably be able to write bigger and better ones, it'll just be less often. 

So not the next Monday, but the one after that, I'll be posting another book appreciation post. If any of you are Meg Canot fans, be sure to tune back in, in two weeks. 

That's all for now. Have a fresh night and week!

Kaylee