Just Writin' a Blog

This shit is hard to keep up with. Sometimes I just forget I have it altogether. The past couple days I've been feeling horrible. I don't know if it's allergies or if I'm actually sick. What I do know is that I want it to go away. Now. It's ruining my mood and it makes it even harder to fall asleep than my stress. On the bright side, my voice has this sexy rasp to it (think Phoebe from FRIENDS). But on the other hand, I'm also sneezy and coughing a lot (again, think Phoebe).

My sister-in-law also has a blog (http://happymomhappywife.blogspot.com), where she discusses being a mommy, a wife, and a semi-crunchy. It's pretty cute and she posted a great recipe the other day. Because of her blog, I have decided to now start adding in pictures and/or .gifs to my posts. I think it's a great idea. So does Phoebe->>>>>>

This past weekend I got to go home. I got to spend time with my family, my friends, and my boyfriend. He and I actually went to a comedy festival in Dallas on Friday. We saw such comedians as Sarah Silverman, Whitney Cummings, Jeff Ross, and the headliner... Louis CK, who is one of Jon's very favorite comedians. It was a great experience and I really enjoyed myself, besides feeling scandalized every two minutes. My poor little Southern Girl heart. Anyway, it was a great time and I loved having that time with Jon. I didn't realize how much I had missed him until he was hugging and kissing me. In just three short weeks I'll be in his arms once again, even though it's only for a weekend.

I feel like this week will be a success. I got my essay done on time, I feel good about the content, and on the tests we've gotten back, I've done well on them. Just hopefully everything stays uphill. I'm sorry I forget I run this thing. I'll do better in the future.

Stay fresh 'cause I can't.

Hmm...

I'm getting to the point where I don't care anymore. It's only been four weeks and I already can't stand the atmosphere and the people. I miss all my friends from home, my mom, the boyfriend. I miss my puppy! I'm going home this weekend but it seems so far away. Home seems like a mirage right on the edge of a sand dune that I can't get to fast enough before it disappears again. I'm at that dilemma stage where I don't know who I'm supposed to hug first: my mom, or Jon? Of course, I could also get home before my mother so I'll see Jon first and that will be a cuddle and kissing fest. Or my puppy... Hmmm...

My new obsession as of late is the Wicked soundtrack. i blare that thing through my headphones and resist the temptation to dance and sing my heart out. I even have my Dream Cast picked out; of course it's made up of my friends and myself. Mostly because I know we would have a blast doing it. (I put myself in the lead role...) Sometimes I wonder if Chey ever sees me slightly twitching awkwardly instead of full out dancing. it's the only way to express myself in these dorms, every one can hear everything. I plan on dancing and singing my whole car ride home Friday.

Chey and I have a problem about getting hurt or getting sick on the weekends. Our first weekend here, Chey sprained her ankle. The second weekend, I hurt my back and it took all weekend for me to be able to move beyond a sitting position. This weekend, Chey got sick and her nose is stuffed up. We're just waiting for her fiance to get sick. It makes me wonder if something'll happen to me when I go home, or if I'll be exempt because I'm not on campus or in the dorm. Let's hope that's it.

Our friends we made two weeks ago have been super cool. We've hung out with them at least once a week. They're like identical to us, except more attractive. It's been great getting to know new people, even though they're older than us. All we do is watch movies and anime, but I can't think of a better way to spend my time with people I like.

I'm just super looking forward to being home and getting to hang with my friends and be with my family.

Fresh.

Trials

Sometimes I don't get it. I don't get college, life, relationships, or all the things in between. These things don't make sense I find no real reason or place for them. It's like they belong and don't compute properly. All of that stuff takes so much energy, i wonder why we just don't all sit on our couches and veg until our brains rot out and we die. Definitely would be simpler.

I guess it's all the temptations life has to offer that keeps everyone trying and surviving and grinding out day after day so they can be rewarded and feel like their contribution to this world meant something. And I can understand that. That's why I'm continuing in school, that's why I'm gonna get my doctorate eventually. Because I want to feel like I've accomplished something and like I'm gonna change at least one person's life.

Of course the other wonderful solution is just to give up, collect money, and just travel until I find myself. There's so much stuff out there to explore, to see, to do, to eat, to love, to hate. There's so much stuff and I could be out there instead of in here at a tiny cramped desk wishing my room wasn't so cold. But there are commitments, you know? Everyone has their commitments to something so they can't just take off. Mine are to my mom (finishing college), and to a boy (staying together for the long haul). And it's hard. It's hard to stay committed and on the right path cause there are so many distractions. Sleeping late, skipping classes, traveling instead of studying, being independent, constantly avoiding getting hurt, not having to try. So many things jump in our way and it's a great decision to either follow them or go around.

If you follow, you could lose everything that keeps you grounded. You'd have nothing. But if you ignore them, you  lose that chance, that opportunity to try something and be someone different.

I guess that's why we all try to keep it neutral. We all try to find the right balance, between making independent decisions for ourselves, and staying true to our original path we've set. If you do make a detour, sometimes they lead you to where you're supposed to be. And some are just a distraction to keep you from your goals and your connections.

There's not really a point or conclusion to this post. It's kinda all over the place. That's what my head is like right now. So many different things going on and I don't know what to focus on or what to try and resolve. Things seem kinda bleak right now. I have no idea where I'm headed or I'm doing. And it's only my second week.

Guys... stay fresh.

Weekend Over

So we just had a long weekend cause of Labor Day. A lot of kids went home. Why? There's seriously no point. You've been gone for a week, calm down. My entire weekend consisted of Chey, her fiance, and me watching movies and eating pizza. On Saturday the order got messed up somehow, so we got a $20 pizza for free. Last night, we painted our nails and watched the first Indiana Jones movies. I'd say that's a pretty successful weekend.

Besides being hermits, during the day on Saturday, I drove into Lufkin. Lufkin is the closest city to Nacogdoches, being only 30 minutes away. I was looking forward to a mall or at least a Barnes&Noble. The "mall" was a strip that had a small Sears, a Belks, and I think an Old Navy. But no B&N. My salvation was a small Starbucks.

I got lunch at Schlotzsky's, where I had a ham and cheese sandwich. It was $8.25 of delicious not-worth-it. I stayed there for about an hour, eating and reading. Then I made my way to the Starbucks where I slurped on a venti passion fruit tea lemonade. Soooo good. It's my relax and calm drink. The hot passion fruit tea is also my calming drink.

I haven't had hot tea in so long. I just bought myself a hot chocolate and I've had plenty of coffee, but there's nothing like a hot mug of tea. If Jon were here, he woulda made me some hot tea. I gotta find someone on campus willing to make and drink hot tea with me. We'll wear sweaters and read books and sip our tea while rocking in our chairs. Sounds like Heaven.

Anyway, my weekend was pretty good. What about y'all? Feel free to leave comments and tell me what you got up to during the long union weekend.

Remember always to put on deodorant, cause ya always gotta stay fresh.