Tuesday, April 28, 2015

I don't know what to do. It's like when we're in person, everything is great and wonderful. But if we aren't around each other, if we're those four and a half hours apart, nothing is the same. It's all gone. The emotions, the feelings, the love. It's like it disappeared right under our fingertips.

I want to love him. I want him to love me. And I want to be together more than anything. But all this time apart feels like it's tearing us apart.

Sometimes I have a hard time even telling him I love him anymore. Cause I feel like he doesn't see it or doesn't read it. I don't to feel like that. But it happens every day.

I'm trying to figure out if I should tell him or just keep it to myself. It's so hard to understand and I don't want to hurt him, but I have to do something. I can't continue to feel like this. It's horrible and driving me crazy. I'm tired of crying and being scared all the time. I just want things to be okay. I want things to be nice and normal and back to regular. I don't want to feel like it's going away or fading out. I want to feel that love forever.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

It's hard being green..

So today my boyfriend probably had the most adult experience of his life: he couldn't find his tax forms. They weren't on the computer, in his email, they weren't anywhere. So my suggestion? To ask his mom. Apparently that's the worst option of all time. He didn't want to ask her "again" because he felt as though he was "failing at being an adult." I didn't know what to say back to him for the longest time. Then the words came to me and I responded that he wasn't a failure and that it was his first time really being on his own. Then I said that he shouldn't feel ashamed to call his mom for help, cause I called mine crying at least once a week. After about ten minutes he triumphantly texted: "I FOUND THEM!! FUCK YEAH!!!" and everything was right in the universe once again.

But this whole situation got me thinking. Why are we so afraid of asking for help? As children we're encouraged to ask for help and to not be afraid to ask questions. At what point do we start to believe that it makes us immature and dumb to ask for anything?

I have the hardest time asking teachers for help. I know I do. But that comes from years of training myself that what I ask is stupid. Do other people do that too? Is it just instilled in us during junior high that we can't ask questions anymore?

This post is filled to the brim with questions maybe no one can answer. It's such a wonderful and big world we live in. It's our duty to get out there and find out everything we can about it. But we can't do that without asking questions or asking for help.

No one should feel ashamed to ask their mother for help because they lost something "again." No one should fear asking the teacher a questions, even if it's a simple one. They always say there are no stupid questions, but people will turn around and say that's stupid. But it isn't. Questions are important. Without questions there would be no scientific discoveries, we wouldn't know about cultures, or languages, or what's on the moon. Without questions we can't ask for help. Without help, we can't achieve anything.

No one is alone in this world. I'm making it my goal from now on to ask questions, even if I'm scared. It's my duty to educate myself and to help myself, and others, understand this world. I believe that no question is stupid.

No one should be afraid.

Tuesday, April 07, 2015

Pictures

So last week I said I might post some pictures of the most influential places I've ever been. Red Valley, Arizona is where I found my writing voice and where my journey toward a traveler began. So here are some of my favorite pictures of my last visit to the mountain and desert reservation. I hope you enjoy them.





Photo cred to myself.

Kaylee