40th Post

Congratulations! We've made it to 40 posts. I can't believe it, can you? It's taken us almost a year and a half to get to here, and honestly, it took way too long. I should've been at 40 posts a long time ago. But we can't change the past, we can only look forward.

A lot of things are happening for me this semester: getting a Little, acting again, leaving the sorority, going to South Padre, and making a decision that will utterly change my future. And for once, this amount of change isn't scaring me. I'm actually excited for everything that's about to happen. I just want it to happen already. In another year's time I could be almost done with my basics and applying for SCAD (and other schools).

I'm so looking forward to this year. When school is over, I'll be with Jon again during the summer. The focus of the summer is going to be saving money, and looking for him a new apartment. There's just too many problems with the one he's in right now. Hopefully the summer will also give me the time I need to start up a YouTube account. I'm thinking blog for personal, YouTube for discussing certain topics, and then I also started a vine at Chey's urging. I gots myself a few followers:)

I'm feeling so good about things recently. I haven't been feeling depressed, though the anxiety is still pretty high. Also Jon and I are in a weird place. We barely talk at all, because our schedules just don't sync up. It's a little disheartening, but I need to focus on thinking about the positives. Ugh, I miss him lots.

Last night, I was looking at some pictures from my junior and senior year of high school. God, I don't know what happened. Besides laziness and college. I was never skinny, but at least I looked a lot better. I was a size 14, average for women nationally, and for my height. I cut sodas out about three weeks ago. Sometimes it's hard not to be tempted, but the cravings and headaches are gone. I wanted to make this big plan for my diet (which is my worst problem) to start with cutting soda, and then red meat, and eventually all sugar entirely. But I don't think I'll be able to accomplish that as soon as I'd like. Instead, I've made the decision of no more fast food. That's hard as a college student who works until midnight and isn't able to grab dinner from the cafeteria. I bought groceries a couple weeks ago and I've mostly let them go to waste except for the easy things and snack foods. Realizing how much fast food I eat in a week, I know that I can't do it anymore. It's horrible food and it's horrible for the body. Not that it doesn't taste good. But my health is so much more important than if my food tastes like cheesy goodness. Here's to making positive changes!

I really enjoyed writing this post. It's even going out early. I just feel so confident and so comfortable. I don't know the last time I felt this GOOD about life. I'm actually on the verge of tears right now. Life can be so good if you let it. You need to make changes that are good for you, make changes that will benefit you as a person, and make changes that make you happy. Leaving SFA is going to be really hard, but I'm doing it in the pursuit of my passions. I couldn't be more scared, but I'm also overwhelmingly HAPPY.

This feeling is incredible.

Happy 40th guys,
Kaylee

Some New Things

Alright so I am no longer inactive in my sorority. Since this is going to be my last semester at SFA I wanted to be active and a part of the girls who mean so much to me. I'm also going to get a Little. Yeah I won't be there for her active years but I'll still have someone who can look up to me and I can visit for banquets and formals. I'm seeking alumniship so that I don't have to just drop the sorority. This way I can still be a part and be kinda active through the years. 

This also means I have officially decided to leave SFA after this semester. I'll be going home to finish my basics at our community college and then I'll start applying for other schools but the main focus is on SCAD. I have a bunch of ideas for how I'm going to build up my portfolio. I'm really excited for this entire process to begin. 

I actually get to see Jon. We'll be spending Valentine's weekend together. I'm super excited. I haven't seen him in over a month. I miss him so much. It'll be really nice to see my babe. 

I bought two books on Sunday night, and I just bought two more last night. I don't need them but I do need them, ya know? Oh and I'll be buying a new laptop on Thursday. The cover is starting to split on mine so I'm getting scared of using it. Hopefully the new one will last as long as this one did. We had a good five years together. That's pretty impressive for technology. 

Anyway, that's it for now. Sorry this is late. 

Kaylee