A Confusing Time

Okay, so I know I told you guys I was going to talk about classes and stuff, but that's boring. Here's the gist: classes are good, I can't afford books, I'm scared of government, and I'm working out! Also I have a job now! Alright, the catch up is done. But the blog isn't over yet!

I decided I wanted to talk about emotional stuff. 

My mom and I are on the road to her aunt's in West Texas, and you know how some songs just make you really think about life? Well we listened to several of those. 

I just feel really lost when it comes to the future right now. I have so many different avenues running through my head and I'm not sure which path is the right one. I don't think I've ever been this confused about anything. There are just so many things to do in life and I don't want to miss out on any of it. And I'm terrified that one path or another will prevent me from doing what I want. But if another path ruins my life? Or isn't enough? What if I'm not happy with what I choose?

I still really want to go to university, but I'm at the point where I don't know if now is the right time to. I feel like I could try to do the big things I want now, and get back to my degree at a later date. Or do I get my degree over with and then take a couple years to do awesome things? But what if I run out of time while finishing school? 

There are just so many consequences to whatever I choose. How do I know if it's the right one? A feeling? Will I feel happy?

And what would I do with my self if I didn't go to school? Well, I'd want to travel and write and document my time, via YouTube and blogs and magazines and online travel sites. And that's awesome, I think. But where's an income? The article I turn in once a month? But without a degree i won't be getting much. I could publish a book. But what about while I'm writing? I don't even want to get my degree in journalism! I did at one point. But I've infatuated myself with the idea of being the female Indiana Jones, except less fights, more academia. 

I just don't know. It's just such a baffling and staggering thing to admit. That I don't know. I don't know what I'm gonna do with my life. And I want so badly to focus on the now, but I'm just not that person. I'm a future person. Always have been. 

If anyone has any advice at all, please share. I could really use it. 

Kaylee