I think one of the hardest parts for me about being in college is not seeing my boyfriend or talking to him as often. I mean, I knew that would be hard, but this is ridiculous. Especially since my roommate and her fiance are so similar to us. They do things or he says something, and my mind immediately races to the times that we did that or he said those things. It's a hard game.
Many of my friends have experienced long-distance relationships, and I never understood their pain. Hell, Jon and I saw each other nearly every day; at the most we spent three days apart. He had unintentionally become every part of my life. And being away from him... it's like being without air. It feels as if I'll never breathe properly again until I'm wrapped in his arms.
As I'm typing this, it's hard to hold back tears. Chey has no clue I'm writing a blog or trying to keep myself in check, keep the emotions inside. HE has no clue how crazy it drives me when I know he's seen the texts, knows how desperate I am, but decides to ignore it anyway.
Relationships are hard and come in so many varying types. I have always held a close relationship with him, but now, as the one year is coming up two, we seem to be pulling away, sometimes pushing. This seemingly once so close pairing is ripping at the seams and he doesn't see it, doesn't feel it, but I do.
I am ripping at the seams but no ones seems to see it, to hear it, to want to know the truth.
I am a college student who writes a blog to get out those feelings that no ones ever asks about anymore. I'm writing to share my life, my relationship, my love, my fears, my nooks and my crannies. It's a hard knock life out there folks, and I'm not even fully grown.
Remember to stay fresh,
Kaylee
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